(If this poem is poking fun at anybody, then it has to be me. Simply, I was born a child of the Raj - brought up to believe that, for some strange reason, I was privileged; and that, if I honored King and Country, said my prayers, gave up my seat to ladies on busses and opened my bowels regularly, I was guaranteed success in life and a place in heaven. I had to come into the real world rather quickly!)

 

ODE TO THE COMMON MAN

 

Oh Common Man!
Today I salute you!
You've broken the bondage,
That I put upon you,
You stand alongside me,
Unchained, emancipated,
Two fingers you show me,
Vulgarity vindicated:
And suddenly,
Without so much as by my leave,
You've become educated,
In your internet chat-room,
Income supported,
Credit unlimited,
Sort of way.

 

Gone the trouser clips,
The sit up and beg bike,
Gone are the visits,
To Margate in June,
No flat cap to touch to me,
No dissonant tune,
Whistled incessantly,
Just to remind me,
That you are an entity,
In the elitist prohibited,
Benefits provided,
Legally aided,
World of today.

Once, I drove over you,
In my shiny Bugatti
My rich-bitch beside me:
You climbed from the ditch,
And thought yourself lucky,
That it was I who employed you,
That you were my lackey:
Whilst I might dock your pay,
Decency prevented me,
From dismissing you,
For denting my brand new,
Eight litre supercharged,
Bentley.

All that has changed, now,
Today, you're my equal,
Aware of your rights,
And quick to uphold them,
In Demos and fights,
And, if you're a 'Green,'
Anti hunting, a pacifist,
Afraid of 'coming out',
A cross-dresser or Queen,
Don't worry one jot about it,
With Blair, Prescott,
Glenda Jackson, Mandelson,
And Wedgwood Ben,
Behind you,
You may kick the skittles
Of shit from out of me,
With total impunity:

And today, it is I who am afraid!

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